Taking a Breather

It's been a rough year, to say the least. I'm proud to be stepping out of denial (for now) and gradually wading into acceptance and action. Hard to watch your child and see how they struggle and fall short among their peers. Even harder to realize that they can't help most of it -- their brain is not wired effectively. And hardest of all to accept that they may be able to overcome or compensate for some of the gap, but might never fully bridge it. Already completely loathing the label "special needs" since it's so often used as a PC way of saying unintelligent, lesser than, or (in a NIMBY way) someone to be kept away from typical kids because good heavens, we wouldn't want to disadvantage them by being around somebody different.

I can hear my tone and know it sounds sad and bitter -- it goes in cycles. I'm learning that there are people in the world who are really compassionate, supportive, and listen without making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Thank god for them, and their positive beliefs. And there are those who are essentially kind and well-intended, but back away rapidly when they feel like your child isn't going to be a suitable, headed-to-an-Ivy-League-school classmate. Like any other kind of discrimination, you start to understand it best when you experience it firsthand.

Someone once told me that in the Judaic religion, they believe that certain people enter your life to teach you specific lessons -- i.e. there are no coincidences. So the sister-in-law who drives you crazy, the neighbor with whom you don't see eye-to-eye, the coworker or boss who appears to be thwarting you left and right -- they're all there for a reason. You are meant to learn by figuring out how to coexist with them in a constructive way.

I don't know if this is true, but it is certainly interesting and I find it makes these challenges easier to accept. And if so, then my son was sent to me to teach me to love, to be patient, to accept and really love people for who they are, and to look beyond the labels that I grew up believing in. Most of all, he's here to teach me to be positive while also being sincere, and to never, never, never, never give up.