Reflections

My son .... needs to feel success, ownership, responsibility. Also probably needs some coaching in how to stand up for himself more. I keep reminding myself he's a young fellow, and not to be either too hard on him or expect too much, too soon. I am proud that he did what he could at his first soccer game today, especially in the 90+ degree heat.

I would like to spend time with him each day doing something he enjoys AND needs to learn. The list is bewilderingly long. Guitar? Soccer? Throwing and catching balls? Reading? Writing? Spelling? Where am I going to find that time?

Also starting to think about our eventual home/work/school location, which may be in Palo Alto or thereabouts, for sheer convenience. By this time next year, I suppose we will want to have made the move. Am freaked out by the idea of leaving the only family home we've ever had; the place we brought both of our kids home to from the hospital; from our neighborhood and the people we know. Am equally dismayed at the idea of a 17 mile commute north to SF for work/preschool, and a 20 mile commute south to PA for elementary school events.

Lastly, have even begun to reconsider the childcare situation. Managing another employee is stressful, particularly on top of responding to the doctors, the dentists, the coaches, the teachers, the other parents, all of whom generate requests and inquiries because of our kids' lives. I'd be a lot happier if I could just ... not have this extra person to manage. I am ashamed to say it because I realize how totally ungrateful I am being. I'm lucky to be able to afford the help financially; I guess I'm seeing that I might be less able to afford the other requirements, such as the patience and energy to manage and direct this person.

It's a time for looking at alternatives and different paths.

I Need A Wife

Cliched but true. I need a wife to get projects initiated, managed and completed properly. For what, you ask? For this:

• interviewing, meeting, selecting and scheduling a reading tutor for my son
• measuring, choosing, ordering, removing and installing the last 5 windows in our house -- replacing the original 1920 ones
• getting the backyard bricks power-washed
• repainting the backyard metal gates
• restoring the soil in the raised beds and covering everything with a new layer of cedar chips
• fixing the miserable landscaping in the front garden
• sorting through the books and toys that the kids have outgrown and donating them
• organizing the books and toys that remain, in a fashion that makes much better use of the existing space in their bedroom
• developing more varied, interesting and tasty lunch menus for both children, yet factoring in the complete lack of refrigeration available
• finding an end table for the couch in the master bedroom
• finding an appropriate chandelier for the dining room -- the one we have now looks like it's a castoff from the Spanish Inquisition

I could go on. So that's why I need a wife.

A Lot Happened In Q1 2009

A lot has happened in a short period of time.

In January, we had to let our nanny go. It was a drama-filled, tense situation for all parties involved and I would not wish it on anyone, ever. We went skiing for the first time this season.

February we found a new nanny. We like her greatly and hope she'll be with us for the long haul. My son also turned 6! We went skiing twice more.

In March, we got the terrific news that he was accepted to the school of our choice, which fortunately runs through 8th grade. Huge sigh of relief! We went skiing a final 2 times, and the kids are extremely enthused about next season. My husband and I bought new equipment -- skis, custom boots -- so we could ski using materials developed within the last year instead of the last 20 years... We also learned that my daughter would be going to our first choice pre-K campus at her excellent preschool in SF. Another hurdle neatly cleared.

In April, we realized we managed to forget to make an appointment with our accountant to do our taxes. So my husband ran the numbers and made an estimate for the IRS. We went to Disneyland for the first time ever, and enjoyed it greatly. I think staying in the park on the concierge floor made the difference between "okay" and "we'll be back". Between the Jedi Training Academy, Small World and the various rollercoaster rides; the hot chocolate and pastries; the fireworks and storytimes; and the water slide, it was hard to beat. One clear decision for next time - fly, don't drive.

Wait For It . . .

I don't know why I'm in such a rush for the kids to get older. When I stop to think, I realize it's an insane desire. For example, my kids are non-stop talkers. From the moment they wake until their heads hit the pillow, it's talk talk talk ask ask ask mom mom mom look look! My friends who have pre-teens and teens remind me that soon, all such communication will cease. For what seems like forever. And I won't be able to get any information out of them whatsoever, no matter how critical, on any topic.

So today, I am officially turning over a new leaf. I am grateful for my kids' chatter and willingness to share every little thought they've ever had.

He's Tall But Gentle; She's Short But Feisty

I'm sure I will forget these things soon, and was lousy about documenting them in the kids' baby books, so here goes a try.

My son is 2 months shy of turning 6 years old. He is already 4 feet tall and wears size 7 clothes. I'm not sure what he weighs but it's something around 45 lbs. He's very lanky -- on some days, you'd say gangly and skinny. I take his trousers in at the waist -- one inch on each side, and he's still having to pull his pants up constantly since he has no tush or hips!

My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and is 3 feet tall. She wears 3T clothes but has size 10 feet, like a puppy about to grow a lot. I don't know what she weighs either -- maybe 33 lbs or so. She is also lanky. Same thing with the trousers.

While I certainly didn't realize I would be sewing constantly just to get their clothes to fit (and they wear "slim" fit clothes exclusively), I'm utterly relieved that they won't be candidates for pediatric diabetes any time soon.

Dad, Come See My Poop!

Over the last 6 months, we've been in the practice of insisting our kids try for a BM daily. (This is to counteract the constipation and pain that ensues when one holds it in.) To make it less onerous / more appealing, we added the possibility of earning 3 marbles if one has a BM without being reminded, and 2 marbles if one has a BM but only at Mom or Dad's prompting. The kids can trade in marbles at a rate of 25 cents each. It's working well. The only catch is that we have had to use visual verification of BM production, because on occasion we have had doubted our kids' veracity. So we are called to the bathroom to "come see my poop". Normally this is a non-issue; except when Mom or Dad is trying to work, eat, sleep or cook a meal.

Net net: it's still worth it because we used to have weekly constipation tantrums, tears, drama and of course, parental panic that our son's biologic system was going to be completely out of whack.

My Husband

I think I'm lucky that he chose me, and I him. He's patient and mature, forgiving and sincere. Kind, and excellent with our children. Very honest and straightforward. Loving to a fault. Always trying hard ... maybe too hard. At 47, he looks much as he did in his 30s except for the hair. He is handsome, distinguished, and funny. He is also terribly intelligent and even a little geeky. He can fix things himself -- I respect this more than anything. Amazingly, he is an excellent dancer. Enjoys good food and wine without being snarky about it. Loves travel and new experiences, and is also a homebody in a good way.

Did I say I think I'm lucky? I love being lucky.