We received a recommendation for a speech & language therapist for my son. Apparently the docs think he'd do well to learn reading and writing via the Slingerland method. Tomorrow I'm going to try to talk to the therapist and learn more about this approach, its benefits, and so forth. I'm also going to talk to the private schools where we have applications pending, to see if they teach in this method.
It's scary out here in parenthood. I don't mind experimenting with my life, but I am not enjoying the feeling that I am doing so with my kids'. Maybe I need to create a more reassuring frame of reference.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Back In The Saddle
Refreshed from my respite from family life, I realize I should take care of myself better. I'd be a lot more fun to be with, that's for sure. And a lot nicer to my family. Sigh. So if I meditate a bit more often ... reflect on the things I love about my husband and kids ... and exercise regularly ... maybe I would smile and laugh more. Yeah, it's not rocket science.
On Friday before I left, my son had a meltdown about his new nanny. He seemed to be confused about her role in our family, and whether she was his "new mommy" or similar. It never occurred to me that this might be a question in his mind, yet looking back I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it. So we addressed it, and it looks like we are back on track. His nanny is turning out to be a rock star. Attentive, observant, sensitive, intelligent, playful, consistent and firm. She's friendly, fun, energetic and has great values. I am thrilled!
This month I am going to practice some new stuff.
First, just for kicks, I'm going to stop myself when I feel guilty about not working long hours. Imagine that. Because after working incessantly and over-delivering on results for the last 28 years, I think I can throttle it back a notch.
Next, I am actually going to meditate to those fabulous Jon Kabat-Zinn guided meditation CDs at home. Those would be the ones I've been playing in my car (don't laugh) while fighting bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. Yes, I actually thought I could pull off a "sitting meditation" on the 101 at 5:30 pm on a Monday. Yes, I'm obviously insane.
Last, I am going to institute some more family rituals. They sound trivial but when your family doesn't have rituals -- and mine is short on them -- it makes sense to start. For example: hugs and kisses to everyone/from everyone upon waking, leaving the house, and returning. Be the first one to kiss and hug my husband when he comes home from work. Good night kiss and hug to him as well, although I often sack out at 9 pm while he's working past midnight. Sunday night family dinner in the formal dining room with proper china and silverware for everyone. With the holidays coming, more opportunities to create new rituals for ourselves rather than rely on old ones from our parents' families.
All of this comes under the general headline: a fresh start with renewed vigor.
On Friday before I left, my son had a meltdown about his new nanny. He seemed to be confused about her role in our family, and whether she was his "new mommy" or similar. It never occurred to me that this might be a question in his mind, yet looking back I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it. So we addressed it, and it looks like we are back on track. His nanny is turning out to be a rock star. Attentive, observant, sensitive, intelligent, playful, consistent and firm. She's friendly, fun, energetic and has great values. I am thrilled!
This month I am going to practice some new stuff.
First, just for kicks, I'm going to stop myself when I feel guilty about not working long hours. Imagine that. Because after working incessantly and over-delivering on results for the last 28 years, I think I can throttle it back a notch.
Next, I am actually going to meditate to those fabulous Jon Kabat-Zinn guided meditation CDs at home. Those would be the ones I've been playing in my car (don't laugh) while fighting bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. Yes, I actually thought I could pull off a "sitting meditation" on the 101 at 5:30 pm on a Monday. Yes, I'm obviously insane.
Last, I am going to institute some more family rituals. They sound trivial but when your family doesn't have rituals -- and mine is short on them -- it makes sense to start. For example: hugs and kisses to everyone/from everyone upon waking, leaving the house, and returning. Be the first one to kiss and hug my husband when he comes home from work. Good night kiss and hug to him as well, although I often sack out at 9 pm while he's working past midnight. Sunday night family dinner in the formal dining room with proper china and silverware for everyone. With the holidays coming, more opportunities to create new rituals for ourselves rather than rely on old ones from our parents' families.
All of this comes under the general headline: a fresh start with renewed vigor.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Taking a Break in Sonoma
"I'm on break." Love the way that sounds. So 1950's! But you know what? I'm on break for the whole weekend. Why? Well, in October my husband had a 13-day business trip overseas and it nearly did the kids in. We powered through, but I was very emotionally and physically tired when he returned. So this weekend I am refilling my energy tank here in Sonoma by myself. Lots of rest, unscheduled time, and no need to plan or multi-task whatsoever. For a mother of two young children, this is almost an obscene pleasure.
Right now I'm going to talk a little walk outside, grab a cinnamon bun, and browse in a bookstore -- and I will be enjoying every single second of it.
My husband deserves an enormous thank-you for being so cheerful and uncomplaining when I announced I was decamping for a weekend. THANK YOU!!!
Right now I'm going to talk a little walk outside, grab a cinnamon bun, and browse in a bookstore -- and I will be enjoying every single second of it.
My husband deserves an enormous thank-you for being so cheerful and uncomplaining when I announced I was decamping for a weekend. THANK YOU!!!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Proud and Happy About Change And Possibility
Change has indeed come to America! It hardly feels real! My heart is so full it aches: "the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope ..." and at last we have leadership and vision again. Thanks to our citizenry for voting and believing in the power of participation.
New Milestones ... A Nanny and An Initial Diagnosis
Last week we signed a contract with a nanny and yesterday was her first day of work. I'm sure that for many families in our area, this is a major non-event. For me, it represents a significant expression of trust -- bringing a stranger into our family home, sharing the care of our children, building a partnership to support our kids in raising them responsibly and appropriately. I think we got off to a terrific start, and nonetheless, I feel scared. Apprehensive. Wondering how it will all work out. I guess this is one of those things that literally The Journey, and not An Outcome.
Yesterday we also received initial diagnostic information about my son regarding possible learning differences. He's the most interesting, engaging and sensitive kid; creative, sensitive and gregarious. Just delightful. Nobody should be surprised that a mother believes this of her firstborn. But I'm probably more opinionated than most! We heard lots of stuff from the professionals. Some of it made sense, and some of it raised more questions vs. resolving them; at least in my mind. They said -- nix the private schools, stay at the public one, work with a pathologist after school, it will all come together and we should check back in three years to mark progress.
Now. The one thing I've learned, in my five measly years of parenting, is to trust my gut when it's calling loudly. And she is a-callin'. She says, "get 2nd and 3rd opinions; don't take their advice at face value; think hard and sleep on it; and do what you think is best." I am going to do just that. No more listening to the professionals without also applying my best judgment. I think I'm a professional too -- as my kid's mother and as a working professional in my field.
Yesterday we also received initial diagnostic information about my son regarding possible learning differences. He's the most interesting, engaging and sensitive kid; creative, sensitive and gregarious. Just delightful. Nobody should be surprised that a mother believes this of her firstborn. But I'm probably more opinionated than most! We heard lots of stuff from the professionals. Some of it made sense, and some of it raised more questions vs. resolving them; at least in my mind. They said -- nix the private schools, stay at the public one, work with a pathologist after school, it will all come together and we should check back in three years to mark progress.
Now. The one thing I've learned, in my five measly years of parenting, is to trust my gut when it's calling loudly. And she is a-callin'. She says, "get 2nd and 3rd opinions; don't take their advice at face value; think hard and sleep on it; and do what you think is best." I am going to do just that. No more listening to the professionals without also applying my best judgment. I think I'm a professional too -- as my kid's mother and as a working professional in my field.
Yes, We CAN! I Believe In Democracy Again
Today I found faith. The most important election of our lives, given what's been lost and what we've suffered in the last 2 administrations, and America made it over the racial divide. I never thought I would see this in my lifetime and I am unbelievably grateful. Now my kids have a President that they can identify with, and perhaps with this, the beginning of the end of racial marginalization can take hold.
Thank you, American voters, for showing up and letting your voices be heard; your ballots be counted. Thank you for restoring my belief in my country. It is has been a long drought and a disheartening 8 years. I feel pride in being American again.
Thank you, American voters, for showing up and letting your voices be heard; your ballots be counted. Thank you for restoring my belief in my country. It is has been a long drought and a disheartening 8 years. I feel pride in being American again.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Post-Halloween
Halloween's not been my favorite holiday, but with young kids it takes on a meaning beyond cavities. It's really fun to see the effect of their active imaginations. Nice to leave behind the facts. Makes you realize how dull facts can get ... and wonder why we try so hard to pursue them as adults. Is it because our brains can't handle the breadth and depth of what our imaginations can produce?
My kids are now old enough to be motivated by the possibility of eating candy. My husband and I are shamelessly trading on this development. That, and Santa Claus's allegedly unpredictable temperament may be our primary behavioral levers until the New Year. Tonight, I convinced my son to eat 2 bites each of his roasted chicken and potatoes using both to create the specter of doubt. I'm pretty sure a host of respected child development authorities would tell me that I am doing wrong by my kids. I am going to try to live with the guilt.
My daughter refused to eat her 2 bites of each dish, so she had a bath and went to bed pretty hungry. Breakfast is in the morning. Note to self: get up early tomorrow and make coffee so I am ready to handle Ms. Linda Blair/Exorcist with the empty stomach.
My kids are now old enough to be motivated by the possibility of eating candy. My husband and I are shamelessly trading on this development. That, and Santa Claus's allegedly unpredictable temperament may be our primary behavioral levers until the New Year. Tonight, I convinced my son to eat 2 bites each of his roasted chicken and potatoes using both to create the specter of doubt. I'm pretty sure a host of respected child development authorities would tell me that I am doing wrong by my kids. I am going to try to live with the guilt.
My daughter refused to eat her 2 bites of each dish, so she had a bath and went to bed pretty hungry. Breakfast is in the morning. Note to self: get up early tomorrow and make coffee so I am ready to handle Ms. Linda Blair/Exorcist with the empty stomach.
Halloween Down, Thanksgiving To Go
I've always kept a journal - I love writing, my memory's going and it's therapeutic. Can't find the time anymore. By the time I put pen to paper I'm asleep ... in bed, at the computer, maybe even at the kitchen table? Yet I want to keep notes about my kids, my family, my hopes and dreams for me and for us, and about random things that bring color to life. Ergo, this blog.
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